DIVORCED CHRISTIANS

Neal Pollard

There are websites, forums, blogs, and Facebook pages devoted to what all we are doing wrong in the church of Christ.  These break my heart and they seem to me to be the height of unfairness. They judge the Lord’s church with a fine tooth comb while casually perusing the faults of other religious groups with a toothless comb.  Does the church need to do better in many regards?  Absolutely!  But, because we are trying to pursue the claim of New Testament Christianity, we get unfairly blasted and raked over the coals.

That said, there is an area we must collectively work to properly handle in church life.  How do we treat and minister to those of our Christian family who have been through the throes of divorce?  Certainly, not every divorcee is cut from the same cloth.  Some may have given up on their marriages, but many did not.  A great many are the victim of a mate’s sexual unfaithfulness.  Others did not ask for the divorce, but had no power or choice in the matter. Yet, whatever facts describe the divorced Christian’s circumstance, we must keep some important things in mind.

• Divorced Christians are still our spiritual family.
• Divorced Christians are likely struggling with loneliness and isolation.
• Divorced Christians are coping with several losses: loss of identity, loss of role and task, loss of relationships, loss of security, etc.
• Divorced Christians may be concerned about perception–how others view them or what judgments others make about them.
• Divorced Christians feel misunderstood, like others do not understand that through which they are going.
• Divorced Christians matter to God just as much as Christian couples and families.

What can we do to minister to divorced Christians?

• Do not pretend nothing has happened in their lives.
• Do not avoid them; to the contrary, reach out to them and love them.
• Do include them in church programs and activities, being mindful that divorced Christians are often overlooked.
• Do remember to include them when you pray.
• Do extend fellowship and hospitality to them.

God loves and cares for sparrows and says His children, all His children, are of much more value than those birds (Lk. 12:6-7).  Some of our most talented, useful, and caring Christians just happen to have been divorced.  Let us determine to show them that we know such a fact does not negate their value to the kingdom of God.  In some circumstances, it may increase that value.